Throughout my young adult life, my favorite and most elaborate type of writing came in the form of my personal diary writing. I could write for hours about myself and my experiences, perhaps because I lived the story, perhaps because I am just a straight up narcissist. As I would like to disband the second assumption, I must write it in case it’s true. I came into this class not knowing that I could use that type of writing in my work, and therefore was not expecting to throw myself into my writing as much as I did. I have discovered throughout the many different means of learning about creative non-fiction that we have embarked upon, that I am a creative non-fiction writer. I always have been, without knowing it.
I first connected my diary writing to this course when we were to write journals, starting on the first day of class. I distinctly remember sharing with the class my story of my mother finding my diaries, and reading all of them behind my back. Although that was a tragic event in my life, the devastation I felt showed me even more how much I cared about writing about my day’s events, and experiences I have had. The journal writing in this class was not only helpful for thinking of things to write about, but was also therapeutic. Since I don’t feel comfortable keeping a diary at home anymore, it was nice to have prompts to write about in class that would let me write down my past experiences, while also giving me ideas for new essays to write. I wrote about things that were uncomfortable for me to write about, things or events that I haven’t thought about in years, and little anecdotes from my childhood. The journal writing paved the way for my first “I” essay about my trip to Guatemala, and the little girl I met there. I don’t think I would’ve written that story down unless I had the opportunity in this class. It is a story I always wanted to have in print, but never got around to, or never felt motivated to do. Learning that that specific story from my life was considered creative non-fiction was the motivation I needed to write it down.
As I grasped the concept of the “I” essay quite easily, the “eye” essay was not my strong point at all. I felt like whatever I would write about would turn into a story about myself, because in order to write about something I care about, it would probably surround a story about an experience I’ve had. When I wrote the “eye” essay’s, they came out really factual in some places, and story-oriented in others. It didn’t mesh well, or flow. Reading works by John McPhee helped me a little to realize that I could involve my story in an “eye” essay, especially his story “The Patch”. The way he intertwined his personal story with facts about pickerel sucked me in, even though I don’t give a damn about fish to be honest. I wanted to create a piece like that with my “eye” essays, which I tried especially hard to do with my essay about Dexter.
Conferences about my work were also a helpful way for me to learn more about my writing. After each conference I would come out knowing something about my piece that I did not know was there. These hidden messages also became apparent when I read my story aloud during our performances at liberty hall, and when other students in the class read my writing. Whether it was positive feedback about how the piece made a particular person feel, or whether it was advice on how I could improve my essay, it all led to my ultimate better understanding of creative non-fiction as a whole.
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